I’d like to discuss the “hater.” 

According to Urbandictionary.com, the top definition of “hater” is defined as:

A person who simply cannot be happy for another persons success. So rather than be happy they make a point of exposing a flaw in that person.

It also states:

Hating, the result of being a hater, is not exactly jealousy. The hater doesn’t really want to be the person he or she hates, rather the hater wants to knock someone else down a notch.

Did you catch that? NO ONE WANTS TO BE YOU. ITS NOT EVEN ABOUT YOU! It’s about them. Therefore, no one is actually “hating on” you!

And yes. I just quoted Urban dictionary. Judge me later.

The reason I bring up this wonderfully ridiculous topic is because day in and day out social media is littered with people, calling out their “haters”. Posting for the world to see that those people who want to be them or have what they have don’t bother them.

……

First, by simly stating that something doesn’t bother you or influence your actions/decisions counteracts everything you’re saying. If you’re self stated “haters” have no matter to you, why are you taking time out of your day to make statements about these people? They have already influenced your actions. Why else would you be talking about them?

Second, you’re not as important as you think you are.

No seriously, none of us are.

There are billions of people on this planet doing the exact same thing EVERY. DAY. We’re all trying to find a way to survive life with champagne taste and a box wine budget. Oh, wait. Is that just me?

In all sincerity, we’re all just trying to make a living and find our passions. Find that one thing that makes our lives worth waking up to. And chances are, 9 times out of 10, it’s not “hating” on someone.

Now that is not to say that there are not people out there that dislike you, or have ill will towards you. We have all had encounters with those people, am I right? But even then. Those people aren’t acting because of YOU. They’re acting out because there is something about themselves that is gnawing away inside. Their actions are a direct reflection of their insecurities. Not you.

With all that being said, (Yeah I know it takes a while to there. This blog IS called dailyRANTSandmisdventures) my point is, if as a society we spent more time truly focusing on our own goals, needs, and ventures instead of worrying about the other people out there, who we THINK are focusing on us, maybe we’d have a better output and those people really wouldn’t have an effect on us.

Maybe that girl on the subway really did stare at you. But maybe she wishes her hair curled as nice as yours. Maybe that guy down the block did get the same sneakers as you. But maybe he liked your style but was too insecure to admit it. He’s not a hater. She’s not a hater. They’re trying to do exactly what you did, live a life they enjoyed. (AND APPARENTLY LOOK GOOD! YAAAAASSSS!)

Focus on you. No. SERIOUSLY focus on you. WORK ON YOU. Don’t worry about what everyone else is doing and if they’re looking at you. Chances are they aren’t. And if they are, who cares. Don’t you have something else to worry about? Like what’s coming next in your life?

Maybe one day there will be an end to this generation of self created and proclaimed haters. Until then, for those of you that cater to such foolishness I leave you with the wise (paraphrased) words of Carly Simon… “You probably think this post is about youuuuu, don’t YOUUU.” 

-NJ 

#misadventurecronicles