It’s hard to love an addict.

It’s hard to ride a roller coaster every day of your life, never knowing if this is the day the ride will derail. It’s hard to forget all the things that happen during the click clacking climb to the top of the peak, only to have your breath stolen again as you plunge into the next valley of that wild ride.

Didn’t we just pass the entrance booth again? Couldn’t we have gotten off then? But then the ride took a turn and the booth fading from sight.  Forgiveness turns to bitterness as your suspended in mid air, waiting for the next drop. When will this ride end?

There’s the flash from the camera, dear in headlights. That’s your face as a memory is imprinted in your mind’s eye like a film strip.  Like that photo, the cost is just too much, this whole experience is overpriced.

Another lull…. as you’re click clacking up to new heights.  Everyone on the ride speaking again, time has allowed a break. Each person remembering a different trip. Some parts forgotten, some parts ignored. Your story is always the wrong story. It didn’t happen like that. It never happens like that.

Here comes the next plunge. Breathless, cold, and everyone is silent again.

To becomes try.  Physically exhausted, mentally drained. Forgetfulness doesn’t seem to favor forgiveness as you approach the entrance booth again. This time, it’s time to get off the ride.

You look over your shoulder as you exit the straps that once held you in securely in place. The ride is leaving again, without you.

You sigh, not sure if it’s relief or sadness.

Probably both.

It’s hard trying to love an addict.

Photocred: Shutterstock