Twenty-one.  That’s how old I was when I first met Sheryl Stroud. It was 2009.

She was a vibrant, friendly, no-nonsense woman with whom I had been playing phone tag.  I was on the hunt for a new job and had put my resume out on some websites hoping for a bite.  I can’t remember if I had applied directly to Origins or if my resume was one of the ones Sheryl had pulled in her own search for an Assistant Manager, but one way or another it seemed the universe led us to meet.  

We went back and forth for quite some time, trying to determine a date that would meet both our schedules so that I could interview for the open ASM position. The day I finally met the woman behind the messages was as random as our being introduced in the first place.  I was shopping in the Garden State Plaza with my then boyfriend.  I had just gotten a new haircut a few days before and had finally let his mother highlight my hair like she had been asking to do.  I wasn’t sure how I liked the highlights, but I was definitely feeling my sassy new bob.  I had dressed that day in my usual high heel and jeans, with a pink sweater.  The top had the current style for a twenty-something. Meaning it was off the shoulder and bedazzled with some flower pattern rhinestone.  Because it was chilly that day I had thrown on one of my boyfriends sisters pashmina wraps as a coat.  

We were walking around the mall holding hands and window shopping.  I was young and in love, and you could tell me nothing! My phone rang and I recognized the number as the Origins in the very same mall.  I looked at my boyfriend and asked, “Should I answer it?!” I wasn’t dressed for an interview, I wasn’t in the mood to be charming or professional either.  He looked at me like I had six heads.  “YES!” He knew how many times I had gone back and forth in the game of phone tag AND how badly I wanted out of the bridal salon I had been managing.  

I answered the phone.

We decided that now would be a fine time to interview as she was in the store and I was in the mall.  Again, the universe had spoken.

Let’s take break for a minute here.  You’re probably thinking “how weird is” it that I keep referring to the universe, and it being “meant to be”, while I’m talking about another woman who would become my boss. But here’s the thing, I can only look back to that day and think of it as a sort of destiny or the universe’s way of giving something I needed because it was that day that I not only got out of a job that was making me crazy, but it was that day that I learned what it was to be a true leader.  More than that, it was the beginning of one of the dearest, most sincere, and maybe unlikely, friendships I’ve had the blessing to know this lifetime.  

I walked into Origins and the first thing I remember is the smell.  It smelled like lemon. Lemon and home.  A smell I would eventually connect to one of the best times in my life.  I introduced myself to whoever it was that was at the sink and let them know I was here to meet with Sheryl for an interview.  A few seconds later a face emerged from the backroom with a voice to match the one on the other end of the telephone.  

My first thought? Whoa, she has a serious face. In that moment, even if I didn’t get the job, I knew she was my Boss.  For as long as I knew her, whether it was just for the 20 minutes of the interview, she. was. the. boss.

She extended her hand to shake and greeted me with my name and hers and gestured for me to have follow her into the office area. I smiled, shook her hand firmly, and followed her into the office.  

Let’s take a second and talk about handshakes here.  I hate a weak handshake.  Whether you’re a woman, a man, or a goddamn dog, when you shake someone’s hand you should do it like you mean it.  None of those limp, clammy, weak ass handshakes here.  Sheryl met my handshake firm and strong. I could tell immediately that was the type of woman she was.  Firm and strong.

When I took a seat in the office I noticed how small it was.  Most people would have been nervous, but I wasn’t.  I was 22.  Nervous wasn’t in my vocabulary.  Confidant was probably more accurate, maybe even bordering on cocky let’s be honest here. Sheryl sat across from me, which was really NEXT to me, in the cramped office space and began reading over my resume while she asked me to tell a bit about myself.  She didn’t look me in the face when she asked, she was too busy reading my resume, but the respect and attention SHE commanded was palpable so I began my typical interview spiel. She listened and every so often asked me to elaborate on a particular instance or part.

We continued in typical interview fashion with work related questions.  Why did I want to work at Origins? What was my managing style? What goals did I have? You know, the basic stuff.  But somewhere along the line the topics got WAY off track.  And somehow, way ON track also.  

What should have been a 45 minute interview at the most turned into over 2 hours of conversation. At some point or another Sheryl asked me a question like, “Where do you see yourself in x amount of time?” Or something to that effect.  I’m not sure exactly how she phrased the question but we both remember my response clearly, “I’m coming for YOUR job.” It was at that point in the interview that I saw a genuine smile spread across her face.  You know, the kind that crinkled the eyes and is so wide your cheeks hurt just looking at it? That kind of smile.

We talked about Astrology, her 3 sons, her ex-husband’s zodiac sign, my siblings, food, exercising, movies, popcorn, and pretty much everything you can think of. If I told you I remembered everything we talked about I’d be lying, and that’s pretty much how all our conversations have been ever since.

I walked out of the interview that day still not entirely sure I had landed the position since I still had another interview to go through, but I was in awe of the woman I had just met.  In that short time frame, in that cramped office, I knew I had just met one of the fiercest, funniest, strongest, beautiful souls I would ever come to know in this lifetime or any others.  Her serious but loving blue eyes spoke of a woman who was determined and demanded excellence from not only those around her, but herself as well. Her big hearty laugh and the way tears gathered at the corners of her lashes told of a long story and a life that was worthy of books.  Her hard-earned smile and authenticity showed bonds broken but a big heart underneath it all.  

I walked out of that interview in awe, but still not prepared for the friendship that would form over the course of the next year I spent as her Assistant Manager.  From the time I re-organized her cabinets, to the time I didn’t clean out the recyclables first.  I learned SO much from Sheryl that year as a manager and so much more as a woman. To sit here and account for every small detail that we endured together would take up much more than a simple blog post.  And that year was only the beginning.  

Over the course of the last 7 years we have watched each other grow.  Through holiday meals, phone conversations, family dramas, breakups, marriages, graduations, loss, and new beginnings. I can’t even begin to describe the ingredients that have made up our friendship.  That day, that interview, I gained not only a boss, but a mentor, a leader, a best friend, and a mother.  

As a child we are influenced easily. We learn our ways, our do’s & don’ts, from the adults around us.  We have no choice but to adapt our behavior to theirs accordingly.  Or not, as was the case with some of my childhood.  But as an adult, no matter the age, it’s hard to be influenced or guided.  We pretty much have ourselves figured out or think we do anyway.  It takes someone truly special to not just tell us what to do or how to do it, but help us learn on our own.  It takes someone with finesse, and a whole hell of a lot of patience.  It takes grace and class, and the universe knows one damn good sense of humor.  It takes forgiveness and kindness to take on the task of bringing someone into your home and making them family.  

Tomorrow is her birthday, and I couldn’t think of a more wonderful woman to celebrate.  I know she doesn’t hear it enough, especially from me since I’m pretty much the world’s most terrible person at keeping in touch.  Comes from my past, but that’s for another blogging day.  

Anyhow, I went through all of my photos trying to find the perfect one to accompany this and I realized something else about my relationship with Sheryl.  We spend so much time laughing and enjoying the moments of our friendship that I pretty much never take the time to take pictures of us together. So instead, I stole some from her husband Phil’s Facebook page.  If anyone captures the true beauty, strength, and sincerity of my friend it would have to be him.  
So here’s to you Sheryl Stroud McDonald.  Mother, mentor, friend, boss lady, and one bad ass woman.