Letters She’ll Never Send IX

I answered quickly in defense. I matched your energy to avoid the reaction of pain that was instant. “Look I love you but I’d never date you.” “You think I don’t know that?” “We’d kill each other. I think we tried this in a past life and learned that.” “I know that. Is that what…

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Letters She’ll Never Send VIII

I need to know there are moments for you too. The moments you miss me so much it’s unbearable. Your chest aches just a little and you think about the way I smile when you say something absurd. The moments where you realize we were barely strangers when we figured out that the air was…

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Letters She’ll Never Send VII

I still want you to love me, even if I know you can’t. You don’t even have enough to love yourself right now. I wish you’d let me love you.

This day

It was this day last year that I realized I could not unlove you. It was cold and wet and I found “home” on a trip home that I never intended. It was this day last year on a chilly fall morning that I realized when Johnny Cash talks about coffee it must mean love….

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Her

“Babe you should come to the gym with me. You always have a six pack after sex, your body is almost perfect! If you just hit the gym a couple times a week you’d be on point.”-my boyfriend to 19 year old me I remember that day. The sheets on the bed were crimson red…

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A Moment V

…. and then the beautiful red head sitting on the floor near the bottom of my bed looked at the card I had just pulled out of the deck for her. She took a breath and then her sad blue eyes looked up at me across the comforter. In a dry sing song voice she…

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Note to Self: Be. brave.

I’ve had this blog for a little over five years it turns out. You know how I know? Because WordPress reminded me this year when it was almost time to renew my site dues. “Congratulations! You’ve had your virtual space for five years, now run me my money b*tch.” And that’s basically all she wrote….

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Letters she’ll never send VI

I’ve never lied to you. Always been honest. Never really held back. More than I really ever have with anyone else. It took me much longer with the people before you to get to the level of honesty and openness I have had with you. And yet there’s still this one thing I can’t bring…

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#FindingFearless

2020 left it’s mark. For some, it even left scars. Whether you had the worst year or the best (SIDENOTE: seriously who tf even AREEEE you if you’re the latter person tho let’s be real 🥴 also don’t talk to anyone cuz the rest of us we don’t like you) But this year? This year…

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Letters Shell Never Send V

You didn’t have to feel the same. It was still too late. You cared whether you lied to me. You cared if I thought you had integrity. You cared that I had lost trust in you. You cared that it “would never work out anyway.” You cared if I got hurt in the first place……

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