Notes to Remind Me & You #1

They say life will continue to teach you the same lesson over and over again until the lesson is learned. Like it’s some kind of punishment for being inept at learning. Almost like you’re being stupid by not learning it. Maybe that’s my trauma talking but here me out- I think I’m beginning to disagree…

DON’T Call Me Miss Cleo

Something I don’t share often (but probably should if I ever want it to actually BE anything) is that I have a small metaphysical business where I perform energy work and read tarot. The reason I don’t really talk about is honestly made up of 2 parts I realized over this last year- One part…

It Probably Sounds Like

How do you really say “I’ll miss you for always but I’ll hold you never” in a text anyway? It probably sounds like “here’s this article it made me think of you.” To which the last response will always read “read on 2/14”- a grey bubble never to see blue again. The unspoken words carried…

Never Just I Love You

Sometimes I just feel really difficult to love. Like I should somehow feel thankful to be cared about and at the same time apologetic about needing love at all. And not just needing love, but needing it HOW I need it in order to FEEL loved. Like somehow “I’m sorry” and “Thank You” are the…

An Ode to LA: Three Years In

Today marks 3 years of living in LA. Four apartments, three new jobs, two situationships , one big heartbreak , and zero regrets. I knew I never really belonged in Jersey. Not forever at least. I came here because for the first time in my life I did something for me- not because my family…

What is there to do?

There are so many things in this life that we as humans do not have control over. Not the least of which is the fact that we will, one day, inevitably, die. And there is nothing we can do to prepare for, avoid, or change it. What we can do is tell the people we…

Letters She’ll Never Send IX

I answered quickly in defense. I matched your energy to avoid the reaction of pain that was instant. “Look I love you but I’d never date you.” “You think I don’t know that?” “We’d kill each other. I think we tried this in a past life and learned that.” “I know that. Is that what…

Letters She’ll Never Send VIII

I need to know there are moments for you too. The moments you miss me so much it’s unbearable. Your chest aches just a little and you think about the way I smile when you say something absurd. The moments where you realize we were barely strangers when we figured out that the air was…

This day

It was this day last year that I realized I could not unlove you. It was cold and wet and I found “home” on a trip home that I never intended. It was this day last year on a chilly fall morning that I realized when Johnny Cash talks about coffee it must mean love….

Her

“Babe you should come to the gym with me. You always have a six pack after sex, your body is almost perfect! If you just hit the gym a couple times a week you’d be on point.”-my boyfriend to 19 year old me I remember that day. The sheets on the bed were crimson red…